Drunkenportunity Knocks, My Friend
by DarkAngelOfSorrowReturns
Summary: Modern/Muggle!AU where there's a knock on Bellatrix's door. She should have left it there. Author's Note at the end of the story!


The room was filled with silence and the light tapping of keys on Bellatrix's keyboard. It was Narcissa's night out with Lucius, so that gave Bellatrix the incentive to do whatever she wanted.

Which...wasn't much to begin with. The people she would 'torture' were out on a date that would delve into the next day no doubt. Their other sister Andromeda was off traveling the world to 'learn about the strange and beautiful things.' That left Bellatrix with only her laptop.

There was one other option, but she didn't know if taking it would be a favorable idea to her nerves. That would be calling her friend, Evan Rosier.

The two became close over a project in their culinary class they share at the university; it was easy to scare him with her Chef's knife. Unfortunately, Bellatrix wasn't the only one Evan had gotten closer to Narcissa.

Narcissa and Evan had formed a more intimate relationship that lasted at least a month and a half because she found 'bigger and better' things in Lucius Malfoy.

Thanks to her sister's choices, Bellatrix was on the receiving end of a sob fest from Evan anytime he seen or heard about Narcissa.

So inviting him to the place Narcissa lived as well would not do Bellatrix any favors.

Ending his life just might, but that would leave Bellatrix on her own.

Huffing, Bellatrix closes her laptop and stretched out on her bed. If only sleep could come easy for her, then her boredom could be quelled until the next day.

It took some time, three in the morning to be exact, for her body to react to her mental pleas by growing lethargic, and finally, Bellatrix began closing her eyes.

Until loud, hard knocking came from the front door. She sat up quickly, scowling at her peace being interrupted by some imbecile beating on the front door like the cops. When she found out who it was, they'd be on the receiving the end of her fist.

She approached the door and swung it open wide, readying herself for the attack; but the moment her eyes caught onto the rough, shaggy brown mop of hair, tall, and lean form of Evan.

Bellatrix leaned against the doorway, folding her arms in the process. She gave a sly grin at the sight before her, and quirked a perfectly arched eyebrow. From the wrinkly appearance of his clothes and the sway in his step, Bellatrix knew he had gotten trashed again.

"Evan, what on Earth are you doing here?"

"Bella! Darling," Evan slurred as he took a clumsy step to her, "I was just...in the 'hood and...and…" Evan slumped forward into Bellatrix, causing her to crash to the floor of her home.

"When I get up and you're conscious enough to know what I'm going to do to you," Bellatrix muttered under her breath, pushing Evan off her so she could stand properly.

After doing so, Bellatrix huffed and dusted herself off, mumbling about inconsiderate men in their drunken states.

If Bellatrix were like her sister, he'd have been pushed back out the door, and she have sat in the living room with her laptop as if nothing was wrong. Evan was lucky that she was his friend; she didn't like too many people around her, but Bellatrix found Evan's company tolerable.

Well, it was tolerable when he wasn't drinking himself silly over her little sister. Shaking her head, Bellatrix bent forward and grabbed Evan's arms, beginning to pull him to the closest sofa.

"Why must you weigh so much," Bellatrix grunted as she dragged Evan along the floor towards the living room.

It pleased her in the fact that he would hit every bump along the way; unfortunately it has its downside by making her job of dragging him more difficult. A small price to pay for the satisfaction of knowing he'd have a headache when he came to.

Getting Evan to the front of the couch was the easy part, but lifting him onto the sofa was going to be a bit challenging. Instead of worrying herself about it, Bellatrix shrugged and left him right there.

"It's close enough," she said to herself with a mischievous giggle; her pleasantries only lasted for so long, even with Evan.

* * *

Two hours later, a groan came from the floor as Bellatrix was typing away on her laptop. She was getting to the good part of the activity she was partaking in when she heard it. Bellatrix glanced over at the man sitting up slowly, clutching his head.

"I feel like my head hit a wall repeatedly," he groaned.

"That's because it did," Bellatrix said cooly, "and a cure for that is on the table next to you."

Bellatrix didn't bother hiding her smirk when Evan made a disgusted face at the fizzing beverage on the table. She watched him take the glass and down the drink as quickly as he could, shaking his body as if it would shrug the taste away.

"It's your own fault," Bellatrix said, "no one told you to drink away your sorrows because Cissa said it was over _two months ago_."

Evan grimaced. "Straight to the point, as usual," he said, setting the glass down. "Is she here?"

Bellatrix snorted. "Of course not, she's on a date with tall, blond, and devilish."

"Sounds more like your type," Evan replied.

"I don't have a type."

"Everyone has a type."

"You're just trying to mask your pain away with reason."

"Why are you still awake anyway?"

"That's none of your bloody business."

Evan swayed slightly, making his way to Bellatrix's chair and glancing at her laptop. "Still into the murder mysteries, eh?"

Bellatrix closed her laptop quickly, narrowing her eyes at Evan. "I'm not going to get any peace with you still here am I?"

He gave her a sly grin that would rival her own. "Maybe."

"I could kick you out."

"You wouldn't do that to your friend, would you?"

"In a heartbeat."

Evan placed a hand on his chest dramatically. "You wound me, Luv."

Bellatrix snarled. "Don't do that. I detest that name."

Evan chuckled. "I know you do…" he trailed off, "...Luv."

Bellatrix swung her fist at Evan, only for him to duck just in time. "I may still have a minor buzz, but my reflexes are still better than yours, Bella."

Bellatrix said nothing, momentarily regretting that she had cared enough to drag her friend to the front of her couch. She was about to tell him about how it was late, and he needed to leave, but the growing light coming from the window told her exactly how late she had stayed up.

Bellatrix set her laptop on the table and stretched, scratching her head through her messy curls. "I'm sure you're well enough to leave now," she said as she began making her way out of the living room.

Evan made himself comfortable on the sofa, something Bellatrix knew to mean that she was not going to be rid of him any time soon.

"Heading into the kitchen, yea?" he asked, "I want pancakes. Get to it."

Even though her destination was precisely the kitchen, him telling her what he wanted that way was not a good idea. Then, when Bellatrix heard the clapping that had come with the request-not that the demand alone didn't piss her off-she grabbed the first thing that she could reach for, which was a vase, and prepared to throw it.

Evan crouched into a surrendering position. "I was joking, Bella! You know that!"

Smirking, Bellatrix set the vase back down. "That's what I thought."

With her smirk still in place, Bellatrix continued on her way into the kitchen. It was going to take a lot of caffeine for her to make it through the day and listen to Evan cry about Bellatrix again.

She didn't hear Evan move to the entryway of the kitchen. If she had, she would have been more prepared to answer his question.

"Why do I bother?" he asked.

Bellatrix sucked in a breath as she poured herself some coffee. "I can't fault you for pining over Cissa," she said, "after all, she is beautiful. Takes after her sister."

After pouring herself some, Bellatrix poured Evan a cup.

Evan laughed softly and ran a hand through his hair. He reached for the glass Bellatrix held out for him.

"That's true," he said, "I'm lucky enough to have a gorgeous friend like you."

"And don't you forget it," Bellatrix said. "My friendship is limited."

She looked him in the eyes with a coy expression. Instead of the bashful expression she was expecting to see when she teased him, there was something else. It startled her inwardly because it was one of her favorite pastimes to make people squirm, at least to an extent.

For Evan to give off a completely different reaction than Bellatrix had hoped for, Bellatrix pouted and sipped some of her coffee.

"Could I ask you something, Bella?" Evan asked, looking at her.

"Obviously," she said, rolling her free hand to gesture for him to continue.

"I know you're probably tired of me mentioning your sister," Evan said, "but it's just so hard!"

"So hard that you had to resort to the bottle one night?" Bellatrix questioned with a quirked up brow.

Evan shrugged. "It felt good at the time," he muttered, "and Rodolphus passed it along…"

"You actually accepted something from that stupid boy?"

"Could you blame me?"

"Abso-bloody-lutely!"

Evan groaned, leaning his head against his the entryway and sipped from his cup. "Stop being so blunt for once."

Bellatrix propped herself against the counter. "You and I both know that it's not a possibility," she said, "maybe if you listened to me and stopped crying about it then you'd be better off."

Evan looked over at Bellatrix, giving her a wide, innocent look with those light brown orbs that Bellatrix near was one of the reasons her sister had been somewhat attracted to him in the first place.

She _hated_ that look. That meant he was going to say something that tugged at the little heartstrings she does possess.

"I tried to show her how special she was, ya know? I did all I could…"

Bellatrix was stomping the ground in her mind, but on the outside, she was completely composed. "Evan, the problem is Cissa _knows_ how special she is. She doesn't need a man to show her that."

Evan sighed, looking down to the ground once more. Bellatrix cracked her neck, feeling the irritation build up.

"Evan," she called to him, but he didn't lift up his head. It caused her eye to twitch. "Damn it, Evan, snap out of it!"

His eyes finally met hers, and Bellatrix knew he only did it because, if he hadn't, she was going to throw something at him next.

"Am I going to deal with this all day?" she asked, "Because if I am, I'm kicking you out right now."

Evan raised his hands. "Alright, I'll stop…" he trailed off, "...or at least I'll try to."

"You are damn well going to stop, or you'll become like the murder mysteries I read and solve on the internet."

Bellatrix noticed the way his lips curled up into a small smile, so she knew Evan was slowly going back to his usual self, if only for that moment.

It was going to take her a while to get Evan out of this funk Cissa had placed him in, but Bellatrix was going to do it for the sake of her sanity and the care she held for the man. He was her friend, after all.

She made her way out of the kitchen, pushing Evan along with her. Even though he weighed more, he allowed her to push him because that was something they did.

"Bella," Evan said, "how did I end up getting a friend like you?"

Bellatrix smirked in response. "I threatened you with my knife in class," she answered.

"Ah yes," Evan said with a thoughtful look on his face, "and I told you it was kinky in hopes you would refrain from using it on me."

She grinned. "And that's the only time that's ever going to work."

Thankfully, for the rest of the evening, Bellatrix swayed the conversations to stay away from Narcissa being the subject. She may have kicked him off the sofa at least twice to do so.

* * *

 **A/N: Written for The Houses Competition and HSWW (Challenges and Assignments)**

 **(THC) House** : Huffepuff; **Position** : HoH; **Category** : Themed; **Prompt(s)** : [Object] Laptop

 **(HSWW) Assignments #1 - Wandlore** : Task 2: write about a character who is canonically depicted as having a big, dramatic personality as 'lacking' in something.

 **Insane House Challenge** \- 251. Scenario - I'm so drunk and ring your doorbell at 3 am because my ex used to live here

 **365 Prompts Challenge** \- 98. Dialogue - "I want pancakes. Get to it."

 **Character Appreciation** \- Dialogue - "Obviously!"

 **Count Your Buttons:** (dialogue) "Why do I bother?"

 **Bath Bomb Appreciation** \- Heart 2 Heart - write about two characters having a heart to heart.

 **Word Count:** 2,080

 **Note: This is a Modern/Muggle!AU! I tried to make the 'lacking' thing Bellatrix's sadism so hopefully that helps in the portrayal confusion!**


End file.
